Today, Today
It’s that time again
The bittersweet reminders of spring
On wet, gorgeous green grass
In open fields,
-Lemonade sheds and picnic tents
Flowers bloom, their spicy sweet scents
Chasing away winter’s gloom
I heard the happy whispers in the corridors
Behind the tabernacle housing the sacraments
And the excited chatter of mothers and fathers
The secretive looks of their offspring
Impatient for the sermon’s end
So parcels can be unwrapped
To songs and hums of Happy, Happy Mother’s Day
I wait silently for the pastor outside the sanctuary
As he disrobes of his garment and puts away the chalice
He comes out, walking with a slight limp
He stares coldly at me and I smile warmly back
The older pair of brown eyes in fear and hate
An identical innocent pair with freedom and power
Today is a bright, happy day for mama and I
I wave happily at mama, she’s still seating in her pew
She stares blindly, a film of tears in her eyes
I wondered briefly if she sees me at all
She has not seen me for years, blinded by her veil of pain
Then, slowly I see her hold up my Crayola scribbled note
I think perhaps she could make out the verse that I wrote
She’s crying and smiling and crying and smiling
She finally sees and recognizes herself in me
Head bent, she re-reads it again,
Head shaking, eyes tearing, she reads again and again
In my childish scrawling writing, I’d written it last night:
-‘Today, Today,
Happy, Happy, Mother’s Day
For you mama, lovely gifts and not harsh fists
Today, today, happy, happy mother’s day
For you mama, no more rouge to mask the bruise
Today, today, happy, happy mother’s day
For you mama, you’ll soak in the scents of fancy perfumes
And not the smells of stale whisky or his cheap women
Today, today, happy, happy mother’s day
For you mama, a bouquet of roses stripped of thorns
Because I know you stayed behind for me…’
One week ago, yesterday, yesterday
It was my birthday; I had just turned thirteen
Mama baked me a cake layered with cream and love
The pastor sat in the corner, sullenly drinking his coloured water
Just as I bent over to make a wish and blow out my many candles
I heard her agonized cry as the whiplash of his belt hit his only target
She falls face down into soft, pretty flames of my burning candles
My friends screamed in shock, and I guess my party was over…
I prayed and prayed everyday for a week
And for seven whole days there was calm in my sea
And daily I’d daydream and play with the gun in his desk
Till the day my daydreams flowed into my my reality
Fingers shaking, I pulled the trigger at the pastor, in shock
-Yes, his shock, for this was the birthday wish I wanted fulfilled
He reached for me as I called the cops
I’d hugged him tight and I whispered coldly to him:
-‘Touch her again and my next shot will blow out your brain!’
They found me cradling his body as he writhed in pain
Everyone said it was a miracle that we both made it alive
The pastor said it was a burglar who attacked the church
The newspapers took pictures of me in the pastor’s arms
With blood splattered on his white shirt and on my new pink frock
We made the evening news and the anchor asked me if i was okay
I told her I was fine. My daddy was my hero; he took so many bullets for me
Hand in hand, today, today, we all walk out of the church
To celebrate with the congregation my mother’s very first
Happy, Happy Mother’s day picnic
Today, today, I’m so happy, happy
We were the model family, the pastor, mama and I.
Tomorrow, tomorrow,
All is swell and well
Tomorrow, tomorrow,
All is dandy and happy.
